I have always admired the bold statements of Hugo Chavez from afar, but I will admire no longer. Once the speaker of such in-your-face shit talk as "the great loser today was George W. Bush. The man went away wounded. You could see defeat on his face," and '"The devil came here yesterday, and it smells of sulfur still today", Hugo Chavez now only makes his past stances seem even more egomaniacal and hollow. Apparently, the tyrant has temporarily turned the Bolivarian Republic into a prohibition state for the holy week to cut down on drunk driving accidents. Nor is it the first time he has done such a thing. What a freedom-hating sham! It shames me now that I once, however briefly, named my fantasy basketball team the Hugo Chavez Oilers. If only Bush had a boozy bully-pulpit from which to mock him with something along the lines of, "Now go away or I shall taunt you a second time!" Alas, only 657 more days. Hopefully this will satiate my critics who say I am too focused on America. It is too late to get into more pithy subjects, instead I will retire to my chamber to dream about Ghost Ridin' the Whip or some such nonsense.