As Iowa Burns

Old Town Tac, WA -

Bill Clinton Whines. Poor Bill is looking for some FOX-styled fair and balanced coverage of his gal Hill.

"I think we can change [the tone of campaigns] as long as you have access to information by people who are committed to judging everybody by the same set of rules and following the same set of rules," he said. "According to the most recent media analysis, that’s not what’s happened so far, but yeah, I think it should be done."

"Nobody would like it better than us if you could get that personal vilification out of there, because nobody’s been vilified more than we have,"

Except, of course, get ready for some straight up MUD. Drugs? Race? Experience? Ears? It's all on the table. We're about to find out in these next two weeks just how badly America wants change.

Reminds me of Chris Rock. I can't find the transcript, but in one of his comedy bits he was talking about black people in the 'hood blaming the media for why it is a bad place to live. I'll paraphrase "'It ain't us, its the media! The media has distorted our image!' Well when I'm in the hood, I ain't afraid of gettin' robbed by the media."

Well that reminds me of another Chris Rock line.
"That shit wasn't about race... that shit was about fame. If O.J. wasn't famous he'd be in jail right now. If O.J. drove a bus, he wouldn't even be O.J. He'd be Orenthal the bus driving murderer."

Well if Hillary Clinton wasn't married to Bill she would be Ms. Rodham the war-baiting, election-losing lawyer. Fairness is a two-way street, Bill.

Let's face it, Chris Rock was the sage of the 1990s.

Rock Solid

Snow Pond, NH -

I was looking through some old Chris Rock material tonight to back up a point I was making when I came across this nugget from 1999's Bigger and Blacker, which is probably the greatest stand-up performance of my generation. Witness Rock wax truthful on Hillary, sex, homophobia and war. Hell, with wisdom like this, he should be President.

See, this whole Monica Lewinsky scandal, a lot of this
shit is Hillary's fault. That's right, I said it. I said
it. It had to be said. Somebody got to say it.

Everybody's like, "Hillary's a hero."

No, she ain't. Aquaman's a hero. He can talk to the fishes.
What the fuck can Hillary do? A lot of this shit is
Hillary's fault, 'cause, ladies, you know your man.
You know your man better than he knows himself. You know
what kind of man you got.

You know if you got the crazy, need-a-blowjob-all-the-time
man. So sometimes you gotta save your man from himself. So
you know what happens if he don't get his medicine.

So Hillary Clinton put us all in danger. She put the
security of the free world in jeopardy, and she needs to
suffer the consequences for her actions.

That's right, she's the First Lady. She's supposed to be
the first one on her knees to suck his dick!

Shit!

That's right. Monica Lewinsky shouldn't have even stood a
chance.

Hillary's supposed to already be down there like, "Hey, I
got it. I've got it. I got the dick! Tickle his ass, or
something. Yeah, grab a ball, make yourself useful."

And they always been on Clinton. Before any of this
happened, they was on Clinton.

What was they on him for?

Gays in the military. Everybody says, "Don't let them in!"

If they wanna fight, let them fight, 'cause I ain't
fighting. I wouldn't give a fuck if I saw a Russian tank
rolling down Flatbush Avenue. I ain't shooting nobody. So
call me a faggot. When the war is over, I'll be the faggot
with two legs, thank you.